Merry Christmas you creatures! (Editor’s Note: and a Happy New Year!)
Well, in spirit of Christmas celebration I wanted to share with you something I really love, and that is series of review of Horus Heresy novels. So, in good mood I opened my Word and started to write and then I noticed something: Cowboy Cam has already written review of first 10 books in series. Yes, that motherfucker hack has stolen my idea and he despoiled it with his pathetic drivel. I mean, he failed in that worse than Abadon fails at everything else.
It is so bad that you just have to read it. Go ahead and read it. READ IT.
I calmed down after few hours of raging, drinking and sending him messages which implied that he is called cowBoy because any decent cowgirl rejected his advances. So, I thought since my Christmas present to you is ruined, let’s try to salvage what can be salvaged - let’s give them review of Star Wars EU!
And guess who rears his ugly hobbit thieving head again? Yes, it is Cowfuck Cam who has also written (if we are being gracious) drivel about SW EU. I mean after all his fuckery can I blame him for being filthy thief again? Of course I can, but since Costin is editor in chief he is also responsible for tarnishing Gung-Ho site (I can hear you laughing, you bastards!) with Cam drivel. Fuck them both. (E.N.: sounds gay, I’m in!)
Go and check Cam SW EU drivel. You know you must check it and considering you’re illiterate halfwits you will probably enjoy it.
Now, since Christmas time is time of thieves apparently I’ve decided to review book about most famous thief of all (Not Danny Ocean, you nitwits). Robin Hood. Outlaw is first book in series about Robin Hood by Angus Donald. Series is complete and it has 8 books.
(E.N.: I couldn’t find a picture of the entire series so have random Angus Donald books, instead)
Plot of the first book should be familiar to all of you: Robin is in woods and he robs rich to give poor and other communist shit. This book isn’t like that. Robin isn’t a hero like Errol Flynn showed us. Robin is more like Vito Corleone. Murderous dangerous fuck who rules over Sherwood and surounding area with iron fist, protecting those who pay him tribute and recognize him as a lord and torturing and killing those who do not. In books he is described like this: "man who seemed to have no concept of proper morality, who obeyed no civilized laws, and who would happily murder innocent Christian men, women and children for his own profit." On other hand he has noble qualities like that he would do anything for those he cares about. He is complex character who does what he must and he will kill anyone who stands in his way.
Book is written from first person perspective and follows the story of Alan-a-Dale who through book grows from boy who is lousy thief to great soldier and loyal follower of Robin. Alan is shown as kinda opposite to Robin and he often questions and disapproves of Robin’s actions. That doesn’t mean he isn’t willing to kill, steal or torture when it suits him or when Robin orders him to do so. There is also ensemble of known characters from Robin mythos.
Marianne, who in this case is great lady and also Robin connection to court, Little John is experienced soldier who enjoys in fighting and is main torturer. As even you halfwits can see there are no merry men in tights here. There are only grizzly soldiers who want power and wealth.
What is also great in this book and series is that it is all proper historical fiction. Donald did great research about 12th century Europe and it shows in his description of life and warfare. It can be compared to best of Bernard Cornwell works (if you want to understand this reference feel free to read Cornwell works). There is enough action and human drama so even if you don’t like idea of Robin you can still enjoy all other aspects like growing up as apprentice to soldier and baron or intricacies of life as troubadour in Middle Ages. Only thing that is missing are long descriptions of romance which makes this book so much better.
I just love this series and after reading, you can also be happy while imagining what torture and gruesome death Robin would do on those who stole from him and deserve it: like Costin and Cowfuck. (E.N.: hey, Cam, that’s us!)
Now go away!
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